Is Homeschooling Right For You?

Is Homeschool right for everyone?

Most will say no. The question then follows, how do you know if it is right for you?

In a previous post, Common Concerns About Homeschooling, I mentioned that in order to know if we should homeschool, we should ask ourselves, not if we are patient enough, smart enough, or whatever enough, but if we are willing to take responsibility for the education of our children, which essentially means putting the needs of our children ahead of our own (this was taken from a workshop I attended at the HEAV home educators conference in Richmond). 

A friend pointed out that we should also ask what God wants us to do, which I also agree wholeheartedly with, since I believe we should counsel with the Lord in all we do. (Alma 37:37)

However, stopping there didn't feel right to me. I knew there was something missing. One more step that we must take to know if homeschooling is really the right path for our families. After pondering some more, I realized that we must also ask ourselves this:

Do you know enough about homeschooling to make an educated decision? 

Have you put forth an effort to understand it, how it works for others, how it might work for your own family? 

In this world where public education is the norm, homeschool is largely misunderstood (at the very least most people don't fully understand the true value of it). Making an informed decision about homeschooling can't be done without knowing more about it, otherwise we would be relying on stereotypes and preconceived notions to guide us in making our decision.

I believe that before asking God what we should do about anything, we must study the matter for ourselves, asking God to guide us to the resources that will be the most helpful to us in coming to a decision that is best for us.

The same principle can be applied to anything in life: whether to homeschool or not, how many children to have, whether to get married and to who. Whenever something serious is at stake- the future of our children, the existence of future children, our own future as a married person- I believe we should follow these 3 steps:

1. Study it out

Read as much as we can about it, weigh all options, ponder it in our hearts.

2. Ask God

Pray with a sincere heart, real intent, believing that you will receive an answer.

3. Be willing to act on any answer you feel

This essentially means that if, after studying and praying about homeschool, you feel in your heart that you should do it, you will allow yourself to be open to that option even if you never imagined yourself homeschooling your children or if you were hoping to work full-time outside the home. (There are many people who never dreamed they would be homeschooling, but felt it was right after following those steps, and are now speaking and writing about homeschool to inspire others to do it.)

I believe that these 3 steps will actually result in personal divine revelation. I have received answers to important questions in my life through this formula. 

Again, thanks for your comments. They are what inspire me to keep writing, and help guide me to the topics that will hopefully be of most interest to all of you. :)

Why I Care Who Teaches My Children

Note: The following is my opinion and I am aware that many others disagree with me. I am not intending to start a debate, but to share how I feel about this issue for anyone interested. Please comment accordingly.


This post was written in response to this comment made by a friend of mine on my post Common Concerns About Homeschool:

You seem to mention often that you are concerned about the "liberal ideas" that your children may be exposed to in public school. What do you mean by that? Do you mean that you would be concerned if someone with different political views taught your children? Can you help me understand why that would bother you? As someone who is "liberal" (if by that, you mean someone who leans to the political left, although I realize there are lots of different definitions), I find that to be a bit insulting. But of course, I could be misinterpreting and/or too defensive! 

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"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it."  

 Proverbs 22:6 

“I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.”  

Joseph Smith

I believe it is my divine responsibility to teach my children what I feel are correct principles, when they are young, in order to provide a solid foundation in the most formative years.

For me, this includes refuting the idea that the government is the answer to our problems, which, everyone knows, is a political belief of the left side.

Not surprisingly, most homeschoolers are on the conservative side: they do not believe the government is the answer, especially in the area of education. They believe that they, the parents, can do a better job at overseeing the education of their children (as well as a multitude of other things) than the government.

In addition, there are a great many moral issues that have become political as of late (gay marriage, abortion, etc), and many teachers and education officials have used their positions of influence to indoctrinate very young children in an effort to further their political agendas.

Education is never neutral. It is always influenced by the ideas, philosophies, beliefs of whoever is in control of it. 

I do not mean to say that I only want my children exposed to ideas that I believe in. I think exposure to a wide variety of ideas and topics is important in any education.

But I feel this exposure should be done under my roof, in my home, so that we can discuss them in the context of our religious and political beliefs (which to us, are deeply connected).

I want to end by this quote from a publication of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"To have successful homes, values must be taught, and there must be rules, there must be standards, and there must be absolutes. Many societies give parents very little support in teaching and honoring moral values. A number of cultures are becoming essentially valueless, and many of the younger people in those societies are becoming moral cynics.

"As societies as a whole have decayed and lost their moral identity and so many homes are broken, the best hope is to turn greater attention and effort to the teaching of the next generation—our children. In order to do this, we must first reinforce the primary teachers of children. Chief among these are the parents and other family members, and the best environment should be in the home. Somehow, some way, we must try harder to make our homes stronger so that they will stand as sanctuaries against the unwholesome, pervasive moral dry rot around us. Harmony, happiness, peace, and love in the home can help give children the required inner strength to cope with life’s challenges. Barbara Bush, wife of [United States] President George Bush, a few months ago said to the graduates of Wellesley College:

"'But whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house' (Washington Post, 2 June 1990, 2). "

Quote taken from: https://www.lds.org/manual/marriage-and-family-relations-participants-study-guide/part-b-parents-responsibilities-to-strengthen-families/lesson-12-teaching-children-through-example-and-instruction?lang=eng

"Somehow, some way, we must try harder to make our homes stronger...."

I hear parents complain about the business of life. They feel they are always driving, always helping their kids with homework, instead of spending quantity & quality time together. Many parents are trying their best to provide a strong home for their children, teaching them morals and everything else.

But it's hard.

It's hard because about 50% of the time their kids are outside the home, learning under the direction of a government institution. And when they are home, they are doing more school work. School seems to be crowding out family time where building relationships and the teaching of personal values should be done.

I believe there is a way. It's not just to keep pushing harder, keep driving around, keep helping with homework, keep trying our best to do everything, fulfill all responsibilities even though our kids are not even with us half the time.

It's homeschool.

When kids are home, all of a sudden there is no rushing around in the morning trying to get off to school. Mornings are spent together, doing chores, eating breakfast, studying and discussing the scriptures. Then science experiments, art, and nature walks. Lunch and playtime. Come back and read aloud "Swiss Family Robinson," pointing out the family values and importance of faith in times of trial. Or spending the day at a historical site. But the point is, the family is together. Learning, building relationships, growing together in love.

No public school teacher or curriculum can give my children what I can.

And that is why I care who teaches my children.

Homeschooling Under 8 year olds

I just wrote this email to my sister, and thought it might be interesting to some of you. She is deciding what to do with her oldest daughter, who just turned 5, this fall.

Good to talk to you today! So, I just read this part of my book "Leadership Education: Phases of Learning" by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, and thought you might be interested.

But keep in mind that I'm not trying to convince you to homeschool, nor do I think it is the best option for everyone. As you learn about it, I'm sure you will feel promptings that either you should learn more, and you like what you are reading, or that it's not a good fit for your family. For me, the more I learn about it, the stronger I feel in my heart that it is right for us and I'm super passionate and excited about it. But if you don't feel that, then maybe your path is a different one, and that's ok too. Or maybe you're somewhere in the middle.

I really like how this book and philosophy is based on theories from psychologists that I studied in my master's program (Piaget, Erikson, etc), and that I actually agreed with and who's theories rang true to me (versus Freud, for example). It's not just one guy's view; there is a lot of science and evidence behind this, especially the fact that young kids learn best through play.  (Bold added)

"The lessons of the Core Phase (ages 0-8 yrs) are best learned through daily experiences in home life, uncomplicated by the secondary goals of pressured academic achievement. The best efforts of the parents will be in nurturing healthy relationship and modeling an active spiritual and scholarly life. Socializing outside family without the rest of the family should be limited and carefully considered. This is an ideal time for reading and discussion of good books, listening to and discussing good music, watching and discussing good media programs, playing at art or math and building with Legos or Erector sets and other similar activities.

"The tools for academic learning are present, as are the tools for cooking or making home repairs, and little children use them more in the context of tagging along or playing at the word of adults. There is no adult skill that children are obligated to master at this stage. The assumption is clearly conveyed that through frequent exposure (as in our reading to them or on our own) and later instruction (mostly be trial-and-error, with a loving mentor to answer questions and help avoid disasters) they will gain that facility as a matter of course.

"Lessons in self-discipline, perseverance and pursuit of excellence are modeled by the parents, and experienced by the young child in mostly physical ways. These might include: household chores, caring for animals and gardens, helping in a family business and cooperating in a daily routine. Little children start to internalize the virtues of excellence and perseverance as they do their part with family duties and in service to others. During Core Phase (0-8 yr olds), children are taught the fundamentals of the family's faith and how to arrive at and recognize truth. Most importantly, during Core Phase the child should be prepared to make choices, heed her conscience and know in her heart when she is being inspired." (Taken from "Leadership Education: Phases of Learning" by Oliver and Rachel DeMille)

One of my favorite homeschooling blogs (Simple Homeschool) did a great job summing this up:

http://simplehomeschool.net/core-phase/#more-31316

And this is also a really good one about what to focus on with under 8 year olds. This kind of stuff has recently changed the way I interact with my kids on a daily basis:

http://simplehomeschool.net/uninvolved-unschooler/#more-15334

To me, homeschooling under 8 especially is really relaxed- you just go about daily life with your kids, but with the perspective that they are learning through it all, so you would make sure to not gloss over the "teaching moments" when they present themselves (answering their questions, digging deeper into what interests them, etc), but relax knowing that through their play (with other kids as well as alone or with siblings) they are learning more than you could teach them from a curriculum or what they would learn in school (at this age). 

And besides play, reading! Reading aloud is one of the top ways to help children learn, and that is a really easy one to do at home, and even for free. Go to the library & read aloud frequently. Books are huge at our house. I put them in every room, we get 30-50 at the library every couple weeks, and make it really fun to snuggle up reading together, we read during breakfast, let them look at books alone, "read" to each other, etc.

To home school, you DO have to plan out your routines, chore responsibilities, and come up with a basic daily/weekly schedule, but that is where it gets fun, in my opinion. I get to create whatever kind of life I want for them! The sky is the limit. Let's make Monday our cleaning the house time (together, with music), Tuesday morning our "field trip"(to nature center, museum, aquarium, etc), Wednesday morning our playgroup/playdate, Thursday morning our Music or Art appreciation time, etc. And don't forget memorizing a monthly scripture every morning during breakfast with a scripture story, and listening to conference in Spanish while doing the dishes. :) I just made up this whole schedule doing all the fun things I love and so I'm excited about this right now!

I hope this doesn't sound like I have it all together and I'm the perfect mom- because I'm definitely not! These are just some things that we're doing lately that I'm excited about, but that's not to say every day runs perfectly. Most days don't, but I love having a plan so I don't have to think "What are we going to do next?" constantly. And I know that I'm consciously fitting in all the things I feel are important to expose my kids to (with lots of time to just play and read and build relationships!)

I love the idea that my children came to me for a reason, that I have special talents, skills, abilities, knowledge, that I need to share with them that is vital in helping them uncover their own purpose and mission in this life. Maybe there is a reason that I know Spanish- maybe my kids will need to know it at some point in their lives. What if I never taught it to them?

Henry B. Eyring shared an experience that his dad was so eager to teach him math and chemistry (his profession), but young Henry was never interested. Later as an adult, he was in a position where knowing math would have been extremely useful. He also shared that his father never taught him Spanish (even though he grew up in Mexico) but Henry B. Eyring ended up serving in Spanish speaking countries and regrets not ever asking his father to teach him. He said "It was no accident that I was born into a home with a Spanish-speaking father." (You can read the whole article here: https://www.lds.org/youth/article/real-life-education?lang=eng)

I feel that we, as parents (with the help of Heavenly Father), can do better than schools to prepare our children for the world and for their unique purpose on this earth, as we share ourselves with them, fit into our lives the things that are important to us and let our kids be exposed to them. Versus having some curriculum planning committee and government determine what constitutes an "education." (Have you seen "Building the Machine," the documentary about Common Core: http://www.commoncoremovie.com/?).

I know it's really hard to get out of that whole mentality (that there is one way to "get an education") because that's what we've been taught our whole lives, and we actually went through that system ourselves. But getting out of that idea is really liberating! 

To all of you, I highly recommend the book I quoted, "Leadership Education: Phases of Learning" by Oliver & Rachel DeMille (I am not compensated for recommending this book).

Hope this is helpful to some of you!

Common Concerns About Homeschooling

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Annual Home Education Convention of the Home Educators Association of Virginia.  I can't wait to share what I have learned, so the following posts will be directly from my notes of the convention. 

After the first several workshops I attended, on "Beginning Homeschooling," I came away with two main points:

1. Any (caring/loving/dedicated) parent teaching their children is WAY better than a public or even private school education. 

Why? 

Two words: individualized instruction. 

Study after study shows that homeschoolers are way ahead of their peers because they get one on one mentoring by a parent who loves them more than anything. 


2. Each and every presenter expressed their firm belief that: 
"You can homeschool too" because God gave you these children and if you ask for His help, He will make all things possible.

In fact, I was very impressed by the incredible faith in God that the Christian workshop presenters expressed, and which is so common among homeschoolers. That is what drives them. That is their rock and foundation in all that they do. They put the Lord first, and everything else falls into place.

But is homeschooling right for everyone? 

Of course not. 

However, when deciding to homeschool or not, you need to know which questions to ask yourself. (This is all mostly taken from the workshops by Yvonne Bunn of the HEAV).

The wrong questions:

Am I... 

Patient enough?

Smart enough?

Organized enough?

Educated enough?

Wealthy enough?

Creative enough?

Etc.

**God honors the direction we are going in. But we have to take the first step and be WILLING.

The right questions:

Are you willing...

To take responsibility for the education of your children?

To exhibit good character, manners, habits, etc?

To learn yourself?

To make education a priority in your day?

To sacrifice your time for your children?

To reevaluate your outside commitments?

To commit to a child's positive self-worth?

In summary: To put your child's interests above your own?

If yes, then as you learn and pray about homeschool, God will show you how to do it (through certain books that really hit home, friends, websites, and personal revelation to name a few).

When people hear that someone is homeschooling, a very common response is: 

"I could never do that with my own children."

 
The question is then, "Why not? Haven't you taught them up to this point? Don't you know more than a kindergartener?" Back in the day parents taught their children everything they knew- that was their education. Why can't we do the same? And these days we have access to way more information than they did. So not only can we teach our children all we know, we can give them access to information about anything that interests them, learning along with them (a bonus!). 

Here are some other common reactions to homeschooling:

"But I'm not a certified teacher- I don't KNOW ENOUGH to teach my kids all the 'subjects'." 

The answer to this is that there are TONS of resources and ways to learn, but for most of us, the public school way is all we know, so it's hard to think about education any other way. 

Not only is there an abundance of curriculum choices for homeschoolers, but there is the option to forgo curriculum altogether (or at least for the most part) and learn through...BOOKS! That's right, learn about history not from a textbook, but by reading an autobiography, and taking advantage of the many free resources online, in public libraries, and museums/historical sites. You have the freedom to teach your children about what you feel is important for them to know, not what the government deems is important. 

For those looking for scientific evidence: 

In comparing the average results of standardized achievement tests of those who were taught by a certified teacher, and those who were not, there was no difference. (I didn't write down the source on this, but I'm sure you could look it up.)
 

The more you read, and learn about homeschooling, the easier it becomes. TONS of other people do it and do it successfully. It's worth looking into how they make it work. You could start by checking out books on homeschooling from your local library.

"But public education is free; homeschooling isn't." 

Actually public education isn't free. It costs an average of $11,000 per year, per student (currently, in the state of Virginia). 

The homeschooling cost is about $500 per year, per student (or less, and many do it for MUCH less). 

There are tons of ways to keep the cost down for homeschooling families. We are in the Age of Information, surrounded by free resources are everywhere!

"But I have other kids (some very active & high energy ones)! How would I be able to manage my household, while overseeing the education of ALL of my children??"

Most of the presenters at the homeschool convention had 7 or more children (Susan Kemmerer has 7 boys and 2 girls). One family had 14 (Marilyn & Rick Boyer). Another were the parents of almost 50 foster kids over the years (Vicki Bentley), and homeschooled them all. All the while keeping the house in decent order, feeding, and clothing each and every one (Vicki's blog & workshop was about how to get kids to help around the house & being consistent & setting boundaries- I took all her advice seriously, since it was coming from someone who has raised 50 kids!). 

Impossible? These parents are not extraordinary. They are not Super Mom. They admitted to learning a lot by trial and error over the years (especially with their first children), but they all had one thing in common: their belief that God had given them children to teach and raise and they weren't going to give up that responsibility to the government. 

Besides their faith, they had figured out some tricks and tips on how to make it work in a large family. Learning from seasoned homeschooling parents makes the "how to" so much more manageable than how it looks in our limited imaginations. (More specifics on the "how to" soon!)

"Is it even legal?"

Yes! In every state. This was the primary way of educating children until the 1900s, when the rural communities began to struggle and moved into industrial cities for work. Public education was instituted as a way to educate the masses of children while their parents worked in the factories. Now we are in the Age of Information...yet most parents still send their kids off to be educated by the government!

Let's take a moment to remember the greats like Patrick Henry, Thomas Edison, Mark Twain, even Joseph Smith... All homeschooled!

"How will they get into college?"

Homeschoolers can get a high school diploma and apply and be accepted to colleges. like anyone else. But the difference is, they are actually preferred students, and can get special scholarships. Dartmouth stated that homeschoolers have a distinct advantage because they have been individually instructed (paraphrased). Standford stated that they have "intellectual vitality" compared to other students.

Some people are nervous to teach their kids at home, for fear of missing critical information that their kids will need to take the SAT or "get into college." This is the "teaching to the test" mentality that has ruined education across America. As our children learn, what's more important is not what they learn but that they develop a LOVE OF LEARNING that they will carry with them throughout their whole lives. So let's take the academic pressure off, and let them, at least when they are young, learn about what interests them. 

"What about socialization?" 
 

What does "socialization" even mean? 

According to Dictionary.com, socialization is:

"a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position."
 

Who do you want to socialize your children? Teachers with questionable values & liberal ideas? Lost & confused kids their age? Or you and your family, choosing carefully the other friends and social experiences? This is not trying to shield your child from "the world." This is helping them develop a solid foundation of  personal identity, values, good behavior, and social skills in the most formative years. Is that something you really want to leave up to 30 other kids their age and a random teacher?

In fact, studies are showing positive results of being "socialized" through homeschool. In areas of "Life Satisfaction," "Giving Back to the Community," and "Participation in Society," previously homeschooled adults are overwhelmingly more engaged in society and happy with their lives. (From a research study "Home Educated and Now Adults: Their Community and Civic Invlvement, Views about Homeschooling, and Other Trains, found at nheri.org, and quoted in HSLDA's updated booklet "The Best Kind of Socialization"). 

"What's so bad about public school? What if it's a 'great school'?"

Education is never neutral. Whoever is in charge of teaching is imposing their philosophies, ideas, and values on the students. Who do you want teaching your children about life and their role in it? The government? Or you the parent? 

So, what about the outcome of homeschooling? Is it a better or worse education than attending a public or private school? 

Standardized achievement tests:

National Average: 50th percentile

Homeschool Average: 84 percentile (in lang. arts, math, & history), 89 percentile (reading)

College entrance exams:

SAT:

National average: 1020

Homeschool average: 1092

ACT:

national average: 21.1

Homeschool average: 22.5

This really speaks for itself.

What's more...

25.5% of elementary age homeschooled kids are 1 or more grade levels above their peers.

By grade 8, the average homeschooler is 4 grade levels above the national average

And let's not forget that 40% of public school students DON'T GRADUATE!

For more studies about homeschoolers, here is a good starting point: http://www.hslda.org/research/

Why does homeschooling work? 

(The following are also based on research)

One-on-one instruction

No learning gaps

Developmentally ready for material

Individualized curriculum

Pursue personal interests

Develop good character 

I don't know about you, but after hearing all these statistics, my desire to homeschool (which was already high), just skyrocketed.

Everyone knows their own unique situation and circumstance. However, most people don't know the facts about homeschooling, and how it could work for their families, and especially why the public school option is becoming increasingly more like brainwashing and "dumbing down" our children (think Common Core) instead of giving them a truly high quality education. 

As more parents take things into their own hands, and learn more about this growing trend, I think we will see a difference in the rising generation, which gives me incredible hope for our nation's future.

God Bless America!


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If you have more concerns about homeschooling, I guarantee someone else has written about them. 
Check out this amazing collection of articles entitled "I can't homeschool because...." here: http://www.ihomeschoolnetwork.com/i-cant-homeschool-because-2/