A Typical Day (with a 5 & 2 1/2 year old)

It's been awhile since I've posted, and that is because I have been pregnant (and still am) and have recently moved as well. But now that things have settled down a bit, we are in a pretty good routine, so I thought I would take a moment to share what we did today.

I love Mondays. I have realized that after the weekend, our house really needs a good cleaning on Mondays. And as boring as that sounds, it has turned our Mondays into really fun & productive days.

Here is an example of what we did today:

Wake up multiple times to use the bathroom (I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant...)

Finally wake up around 7:30am to my kids running into my room, eager to snuggle or make caves/hideouts out of my blankets.

8am- Slowly wake up and get ready for the day, while they play (I'm so thankful they are happy to play on their own in the mornings!)

8:30am- Put bathroom/bedroom trashes by the stairs ready to take out. Get all laundry (including towels & sheets) together and set by the stairs.
Have everyone make their beds & get dressed before going downstairs together for breakfast.

9am- Put in a load of laundry, then make breakfast.
Eat while reading poetry for children (such as by Robert Louis Stevenson) or a story that teaches good values/morals (Tortoise & the Hare, King Midas & the Golden Touch, scripture stories, etc), and have a discussion about the message & how it applies to their lives. I also like to read a non-fiction kids book, such as about thunder/lightening or the Native Americans, or zoo animals if we're about to go to the zoo that day. We also put the weather on our weather chart & see what day it is on our calendar.

9:45am- Everyone helps unload the dishwasher & put their dirty dishes in. (We started banging the pots & serving spoons to the tune of that song in Tarzan, "Shopado...Doo wop, de do..." and parading around the house for about 10 minutes. Then I put on the whole soundtrack (from a playlist I found in youtube) that we listened to while we cleaned.

10am- Clean the downstairs time! This includes wiping down counters in kitchen, cleaning the downstairs bathroom, picking up any toys/books, and sweeping & vacuuming all floors. I give them options of what they want to do (bathroom sink or floor, for example), and they choose the one they feel like doing. We don't do charts anymore, because they never worked very well for us. Instead everyone knows that we all help out to clean up and then we do something fun in the afternoon (which they know about before we start cleaning). We make it totally fun, not like "chores." And no big deal if my 2 year old doesn't feel like doing much that day because he's more interested in doing puzzles or looking at his books. My 5 year old gets distracted at times, with books usually, so I need to refocus him & he usually finishes his jobs with a pretty positive attitude.

11:30am- I am usually still finishing up my jobs while the boys are sitting on the couch looking at picture books together or playing. I try to make my grains for the week during this time as well (big pots of quinoa, buckwheat, and brown rice, that I use in recipes all week long). Then I get started on lunch (green smoothie & sandwich or bagel).

12- lunch (& check on laundry)
After lunch, they started drawing while I put away the food.

1pm- stories (usually library books) on the couch, then rest time (or independent time for my 5 year old, such as art, practicing writing letters or numbers, legos, etc)
(Today we all went upstairs to clean up the playroom & put up our kids decals on the walls, since we haven't done that yet)

3pm- Movie & popcorn (today it was Tarzan, inspired by the music earlier), while I fold the now clean laundry

5-6pm- Ride bikes & scooters outside on our driveway, while I get dinner ready

6:30pm- My husband gets home and we eat dinner

7:30-8:30pm- He gets them ready for bed & plays with them, while I get a few things done on the computer or whatever else I need to do

What did we accomplish?

- Reading aloud & having discussions about morals, science/history, while exposing them to quality literature

- Teaching the importance of working together as a family/team to get a job done, and practical skills about how to clean and care for a house

- Free play time to use their imaginations, practice social skills (learning to get along with siblings), and develop other skills depending on what they choose to do (such as puzzles, art, etc)

- Able to observe them, see how they are developing & what their strengths/weaknesses may be, be available to answer questions that come up, cuddle when needed, and just be able to be in tune with their needs and adjust our schedule accordingly (which I do so often).

- Physical activity outside

- Healthy, homemade food throughout the day (& discussions about the importance of healthy eating)

- Ability to choose activities and subjects that interest them and adjust our schedule to accommodate the moments when they are particularly interested in something (such as looking up how to care for pet turtles online, which we did when my 5 year old expressed a strong desire to have a pet turtle, after reading a poem this morning about one)

So not only did they learn and do probably more than if they were at school (or day care), but we got to spend the day together as a family, and are closer because of that.

Yay for a great day!

My Simple Daily Schedule (with kids 4 and under)

As I prepare to homeschool, and after much thought, research, and reading, I have come up with a simple schedule format that is working really well for my family (and currently I have a 4 1/2 year old, and an almost 2 year old). We have been following this schedule for several months now. As my kids get older we will adjust as needed.

But first let me say that I haven't always been organized with a schedule like this to follow. More days than I'd like to admit I would wake up to a messy kitchen and spend my whole morning cleaning it! I know first hand how hard it can be to keep a routine/schedule with young children (especially babies and toddlers).

Now with 4 1/2 years of "on the job" training under my belt, I am realizing more and more what works for me and what doesn't (for example, going to bed with a messy kitchen doesn't work for me, but it might for some people who are in different stages of parenthood).

So please remember: I'm not perfect. The point of sharing this isn't to make anyone feel bad or lift myself up, but instead to give ideas of how you might be able to simplify your life so you can be more present in those precious moments with your children. (By the way, Power of Moms is a website with this exact purpose. I haven't delved into the Mind Organization for Moms program yet, but I have heard amazing things about it! I have recently listened to this ebook about it, which was great!)

I love being with my kids all day and the wonderful opportunities I have to build relationships, answer all their questions, and teach them what I feel is important for them to learn. I could never in a million years bypass this amazing opportunity to teach them while they are young, and instead send them to a room full of 30 other kids to be given a one-size fits all education. Many wonderful mothers do this, and I admire their determination to make the most of their time with their kids after school and on the weekends. But that life is not for me. And with a growing 1.7 million homeschoolers in this country, it's comforting to know I'm not alone. I love this one father's TEDx video about why he has come to the conclusion that homeschool is a better alternative than sending kids to school. He says "Homeschooling, I believe, is the future of innovative education." Watch the rest here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mummj4SwpU0&feature=share

Every day I am reminded in my heart that these are children of God-- so innocent, so naive, so trusting. Yet, childhood is fleeting; my children will be gone before I know it. I don't want to miss a single word, smile, or laugh. And I don't want to simply observe their laughs, I want to laugh with them! I certainly don't want to spend these years at home feeling stressed out instead of connecting with my children's spirits and nurturing their souls.

Enter... my simple schedule. :)

My Simple Daily Schedule

Please note that the times are approximate and the schedule is very flexible. I don't mind if we don't follow it exactly depending on the day, the weather, our moods and energy levels. But it helps having this schedule because I always know what to do in any given moment, and it provides certain times to get everything done! (Below is my basic schedule, but I do have a list of which activities are done on which days, such as cleaning/organizing on Monday, playgroup on Wednesday, grocery shopping on Friday, etc )

I like breaking up the day into three routines: Morning, afternoon, and evening. Somehow that simplifies it even more in my mind.

The super simple version of my schedule is this:

Morning Routine:
Get ready for the day
Breakfast/Scripture Story
Sensory Activity while mom makes food
Morning Activity TOGETHER (kids + mom)

Afternoon Routine:
Lunch
Stories
Nap/Quiet Time
Afternoon Activity TOGETHER (kids + mom)

Evening Routine:
Dinner
Get ready for Bed
Stories

Here it is in a little more detail:

Morning routine

7am- Wake up, snuggle, read stories, do songs with motions, wrap up in blankets, etc

7:30am- Help kids start working on their "Morning Charts"-- they look at the pictures on their chart and do these things in order: wake up, make bed and say prayers, eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth. (When they are done with all of these things, they put a sticker on a chart, and when they complete a row of stickers they get to either: 1- pick a toy at the dollar store, 2- pick a movie to watch, 3- go somewhere fun like Chuck E. Cheese).

8am- Breakfast (& unload dishwasher)- During breakfast we read a scripture story (illustrated version for children) & talk about our plans for the day.

8:30am- Clean up breakfast & do food prep for later, while kids work on a sensory activity at the kitchen table (such as scooping and pouring dry beans or water, play doh, playing with pom poms or pipe cleaners- usually something that I don't have to supervise too much. There is usually some mess to clean up which I don't care so much about since it's great to have something that they are so focused on and it gives me time to get things done in the kitchen.)

10am- Morning activity TOGETHER- This is when I drop everything and focus on my kids. We use this time to do learning activities of all sorts, whatever I want to teach them about or whatever I feel they are interested in. This can include: learning games (magnetic letters, counting/adding/subtracting objects, etc),  going on a nature walk and collecting samples to study later, listening to classical music or looking at art books and hearing stories about the artists & composers, learning about an event in history (such as slavery & the civil war), cleaning or organizing areas of the house together, errands, playgroup (once a week), having a friend over usually falls in this time since it's easier to do before nap, etc

Afternoon routine:

12pm- Lunch (includes green smoothie)

1pm- Storytime- read books from the library or favorite classics (such as The Little Engine That Could, and any Dr. Seuss).

1:30pm- Nap/Quiet time- This is when my 4 1/2 year old has the choice of taking a nap or doing something on his own (but next to me, since he doesn't like to be alone), and my almost 2 year old takes a nap. I use this time to work on the computer usually, and cross things off my to do list.

3pm- Afternoon activity TOGETHER- We usually do something different than what we did that morning (if we were outside in the morning, we stay inside in the afternoon, and vice versa). This can include going to the pool (in the summer), going to the park or riding bikes if we didn't get out that morning, dancing to music, playing the piano, art (we do this frequently after nap), etc. Again the point is to spend good quality time with my children, talking about anything they bring up and sharing with them what I feel they should know (sometimes this is something I have recently learned from my own personal reading- more on this below).

Evening routine:

5pm- Dinner prep while kids play together.

5:30pm- Eat dinner while doing the following: 1- read the same scripture story from that morning (for Dad), but with the actual scripture verses that go along with the picture (instead of the simplified summary), 2- Recite a scripture that we are trying to memorize, 3- Tell Dad about the day so far (I try to point out the good things the kids did, lessons learned, consequences given, ways to improve, and talk about safety issues, table manners, books we read and how they apply to the scriptures we are reading and life, etc) 4- Talk about any plans for the following day or week.

6:30pm- Clean up & take vitamins- My 4 year old vacuums under the dining room table, takes over his dishes, and either I or my husband will wash dishes while the other takes the boys upstairs to start getting ready for bed (bedtime routine includes: bath on MThSat, jammies, brush teeth, play with either parent (climbing on us, going for airplane rides, tickling, etc)).

7:30- Stories (by Dad if he is home)

8pm- Lights out- cuddle together and listen to me telling the next episode of our two ongoing stories that I make up each night, then sing a song or two as they fall asleep.

After my kids are in bed, I do the following:
1- Make sure the kitchen is cleaned and start the dishwasher
2- Fill the Britta with water & bring a glass of water upstairs to drink when I wake up in the morning
3- Record:Write in my "Kidschool Log" book (a summary of what we did, what the kids learned that day), write in my notebooks/journals for each of my kids if there was anything memorable I want to record about them, write in my personal journal if I have something on my mind to record

When those things are done, I can take care of any emails, update blogs, and plan the following day.
To plan the following day I look at my master to do list (which is divided into several categories: errands, home, kitchen, computer, plan, fun kids activities- I got this idea from Power of Moms) and write down on my small dry erase board the most important items that I want to try to get done the next day (specific food to make, important emails to send, errands to run, etc)

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Scheduling Undivided Attention= Happy Kids

I really like this schedule because of the big blocks of time that I schedule to spend with my kids. I never feel frustrated that my kids aren't letting me get anything done, because I don't try to get personal things done when we are together (I keep my computer closed and phone out of reach). When I do have something to do on my own (food prep in the morning, or computer time during quiet time) they aren't clinging to me every second, and are ok to play on their own, probably because I give them so much consistent, undivided attention throughout the day.

The Benefits of Consistently Reading Aloud

“There is something wonderful about a book. We can pick it up. We can heft it. We can read it. We can set it down. We can think of what we have read. It does something for us. We can share great minds, great actions, and great undertakings in the pages of a book.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley, (Standing For Something)

I really like that following this schedule has us consistently reading aloud- the scriptures as well as other great books.

Replacing TV with books:

Reading children's books every day has began to replace screen time for our kids. Watching TV shows, movies, even playing games on my iPhone are all very addicting to my kids. Not only that, but after screen time they are always tired, cranky, disobedient, and not their best selves. So we have been trying to reduce screen time, but still want to give them exposure to things they might learn from educational TV. The answer for us has been books. By making books a big part of our daily schedule (reading aloud at least twice a day, looking at picture books on their own throughout the day, and listening to audio books which I get from the library or on YouTube), we have reduce all screen time to pretty much once or twice a week (we have a "Family Movie Night" that my 4 year old looks forward to all week, and if he chooses to pick a movie for his reward chart, then he can watch a movie or show on another day). Don't get me wrong, he does ask multiple times a day to watch TV or play a game on my phone. But I usually direct him to a book (or audio book, if he just feels like listening to something), and gradually his requests are starting to decrease. Now, when he is sad about something, instead of requesting a movie to help him feel better, he will request a story. The first day he did that, my heart leaped! It was a glorious day. :)



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Q&A

Q: When do you do personal reading?
(FYI: I'm currently reading: Leadership Education about homeschool, a classic (Les Miserables), and several library books about the Civil War/Gettysburg (I plan to go back and re-learn in detail about all major wars and events in history, one by one))
A: In the bathroom (it's seriously the only place and it's amazing how many books I can get through by taking a couple extra minutes here and there).

Q: When do you exercise?
A: In the morning before the kids get up (unless my husband is home in the morning, in which case I sleep in and exercise while he's doing the morning routine with the kids). My goal is to do cardio (running or biking) MWF, and yoga TTh. (Not quite there, but I'm working on it!)

Q: When do you do laundry?
A: Several times a week, in the morning, I (but usually my husband) takes down the dirty clothes and starts the washer. When he gets home from work (or that night) he checks it and puts the clothes in the dryer, and takes clean clothes upstairs to our bedroom. In the morning, I try not to go down for breakfast until all clean clothes have been folded and put away. Having my husband help with this really makes a huge difference- it is one less thing for me to think about, and he does it systematically when he wakes up, and then keeps it going when he comes home. He also takes care of taking out the trash and recycling, as well as paying bills and home maintenance or car problems.

Do you have a question? Please comment below!
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My life has never been better, and I know this is largely due to this schedule (another big part is because of my elimination of animal products, refined sugar, flour and processed food, and trying to eat lots of plant foods which you can read about on my blog Lynleigh's Kitchen).

This schedule really helps me feel more relaxed during the day. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and trying to figure out what to do when a free moment presents itself, I can enjoy being with my children. It's not the perfect schedule for everyone, but for us, at this time, it works great.

Classics...Not Textbooks

The Thomas Jefferson Educational philosophy, like many other educational philosophies (including Charlotte Mason, Whole-Hearted Education for example), focuses on having children read and study classic literature (in all subjects) in place of textbooks, and be exposed to all sorts of other classic works of music, art, etc. 

Why? In the words of Oliver and Rachel DeMille (founders of The Thomas Jefferson Education) (taken from their book cited below, bold added):

"All that separates us from the wisdom available from the past that will solve the problems of today is our choice to engage ourselves in significant study from the best minds and records society has to offer. These important classics are not only books but elevating works and individuals from every field, land and walk of life. Our minds will be expanded to comprehend the greatest ideas throughout the history of mankind as we study the lives and think the thoughts of leaders of the past and present. As we incorporate into our lives timeless principles that bring success, we will find ourselves living with increased capacity and impact. We will not only come Face-to-Face with Greatness, we will become great ourselves."

Oliver & Rachel DeMille in Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning

"Classics, not Textbooks" 
...is the First Key in the Thomas Jefferson Education's "Seven Keys of Great Teaching." Why classics?

Textbooks are usually paraphrased summaries of great works. Classic themselves are works worth reading over and over again because a person learns more each time, and, as stated in this quote, have the ability to expand minds, increase our capacity and impact, and have the potential to lead us to becoming great ourselves. 

Sally Clarkson, author of Educating the Whole-Hearted Child, and another huge proponet of exposing young children to classics, said "If you do nothing else in your homeschool, read to your children!" (Here is an article she wrote about this: http://www.itakejoy.com/how-to-read-aloud-to-your-children/)

Here is one homeschooling mom's experience of never reading or enjoying the classics, to understanding the value in them and incorporating them into her family homeschool: http://simplehomeschool.net/classical/

And finally, my personal experience with classics thus far has been this: I don't know how I went 32 years without ever reading Victor Hugo's Les Miserables! 

From the urgings of my mentors, the DeMilles (just from what I have been reading so far- I don't know them personally!), and all that I have been reading about the importance of classics, I have felt a huge desire to delve into this world that I have largely ignored my whole life. In between my reading about homeschool (Leadership Education: Phases of Learning, by the DeMilles) & motherhood (Motherhood Realized, by Power of Moms), I have found a few free moments  (with a 4 and 1 year old, the bathroom is really the only place...) to finish my own education. I picked up Les Miserables on a family trip as we passed through Northampton, MA, and I knew it would be a great book to start (I grew up with the musical and have always been moved by the story). My goal is to read as many classics as I can! 

So far I have been able to share what I'm reading about with my family (my 4 year old continues to ask about what I read lately, and my 1 year old repeats over and over again "Jean Veljean"). Just in the first few chapters there have been many lesson that even a 4 year old could understand and discuss with me. Obviously, I have to explain the events in an age appropriate way, but I have been amazed at what even he can get from this book. Man, it's really true. Classics are powerful!

As for my kids, we have been doing a lot of Dr. Seuss, as well as Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories (a big hit with my 4 year old, even though a lot of the vocabulary goes over his head), Rober Louis Stevenson's A Child's Garden of Verses (we read a poem or two while eating), and most importantly, the Bible and Book of Mormon stories (we read the children's picture versions as well as the actual verses from the scriptures). 

Since my kids are still so young, I take advantage of meal times to do the following: daily scripture stories, classic poems, memorizing a monthly scripture, and discussing a monthly value (which I get from the wonderful program at: valuesparenting.com). (Additionally, throughout the day and especially before bed, we will read library books and other stories.) The consistency of doing these things during meal time has resulted in having these classics on our minds throughout the day and bringing them into our conversations, which, I believe is the purpose and intention of the classic authors- to have us discuss them and change our very natures by what we learn.

At the Richmond HEAV Homeschool Convention last month, I went to a workshop on "Designing Your Own Lit Program" by Adam Andrews. "Intriguing!" I thought. It was an awesome workshop, which I will go into more detail in another post. But the essence was that by identifying the main story elements (especially the conflict, climax, and resolution) of whatever you are reading (including children's books), you can gain insight into what the author is trying to say. And that, right there, is the most important thing you can learn from the book, and should provide ample material for discussion. Mark Twain didn't write Huck Finn so that we would learn new vocab words or remember meaningless details unrelated to the main message (this is what public school worksheets are geared towards- vocab, fill in the blank, etc). No, he wanted us to take a look at racial issues, to see that something is wrong with the way our society is working. This should inspire deep conversations. Understanding WHY a book is written is what we should be looking for. 

Andrews recommends the following for a good lit program: 1- Read a classic, 2- Discuss the story elements and discover what the author is trying to say, 3- Discuss further and find the personal application. 4- Read another classic and repeat. That's it. Hence, we are trying to fill our home with classics, have discussions about what the authors are trying to tell us, and become better people through it all.

I hope this has inspired some of you to start reading a classic yourself that you can even share with your family, as well as start reading more classics with your children and discussing themes and lessons learned throughout the day. If you haven't read too many classics in your life, you may feel, as I did, "I can't believe I haven't read this until now!" and your life will never be the same again.

Happy reading!

Is Homeschooling Right For You?

Is Homeschool right for everyone?

Most will say no. The question then follows, how do you know if it is right for you?

In a previous post, Common Concerns About Homeschooling, I mentioned that in order to know if we should homeschool, we should ask ourselves, not if we are patient enough, smart enough, or whatever enough, but if we are willing to take responsibility for the education of our children, which essentially means putting the needs of our children ahead of our own (this was taken from a workshop I attended at the HEAV home educators conference in Richmond). 

A friend pointed out that we should also ask what God wants us to do, which I also agree wholeheartedly with, since I believe we should counsel with the Lord in all we do. (Alma 37:37)

However, stopping there didn't feel right to me. I knew there was something missing. One more step that we must take to know if homeschooling is really the right path for our families. After pondering some more, I realized that we must also ask ourselves this:

Do you know enough about homeschooling to make an educated decision? 

Have you put forth an effort to understand it, how it works for others, how it might work for your own family? 

In this world where public education is the norm, homeschool is largely misunderstood (at the very least most people don't fully understand the true value of it). Making an informed decision about homeschooling can't be done without knowing more about it, otherwise we would be relying on stereotypes and preconceived notions to guide us in making our decision.

I believe that before asking God what we should do about anything, we must study the matter for ourselves, asking God to guide us to the resources that will be the most helpful to us in coming to a decision that is best for us.

The same principle can be applied to anything in life: whether to homeschool or not, how many children to have, whether to get married and to who. Whenever something serious is at stake- the future of our children, the existence of future children, our own future as a married person- I believe we should follow these 3 steps:

1. Study it out

Read as much as we can about it, weigh all options, ponder it in our hearts.

2. Ask God

Pray with a sincere heart, real intent, believing that you will receive an answer.

3. Be willing to act on any answer you feel

This essentially means that if, after studying and praying about homeschool, you feel in your heart that you should do it, you will allow yourself to be open to that option even if you never imagined yourself homeschooling your children or if you were hoping to work full-time outside the home. (There are many people who never dreamed they would be homeschooling, but felt it was right after following those steps, and are now speaking and writing about homeschool to inspire others to do it.)

I believe that these 3 steps will actually result in personal divine revelation. I have received answers to important questions in my life through this formula. 

Again, thanks for your comments. They are what inspire me to keep writing, and help guide me to the topics that will hopefully be of most interest to all of you. :)

Why I Care Who Teaches My Children

Note: The following is my opinion and I am aware that many others disagree with me. I am not intending to start a debate, but to share how I feel about this issue for anyone interested. Please comment accordingly.


This post was written in response to this comment made by a friend of mine on my post Common Concerns About Homeschool:

You seem to mention often that you are concerned about the "liberal ideas" that your children may be exposed to in public school. What do you mean by that? Do you mean that you would be concerned if someone with different political views taught your children? Can you help me understand why that would bother you? As someone who is "liberal" (if by that, you mean someone who leans to the political left, although I realize there are lots of different definitions), I find that to be a bit insulting. But of course, I could be misinterpreting and/or too defensive! 

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"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it."  

 Proverbs 22:6 

“I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.”  

Joseph Smith

I believe it is my divine responsibility to teach my children what I feel are correct principles, when they are young, in order to provide a solid foundation in the most formative years.

For me, this includes refuting the idea that the government is the answer to our problems, which, everyone knows, is a political belief of the left side.

Not surprisingly, most homeschoolers are on the conservative side: they do not believe the government is the answer, especially in the area of education. They believe that they, the parents, can do a better job at overseeing the education of their children (as well as a multitude of other things) than the government.

In addition, there are a great many moral issues that have become political as of late (gay marriage, abortion, etc), and many teachers and education officials have used their positions of influence to indoctrinate very young children in an effort to further their political agendas.

Education is never neutral. It is always influenced by the ideas, philosophies, beliefs of whoever is in control of it. 

I do not mean to say that I only want my children exposed to ideas that I believe in. I think exposure to a wide variety of ideas and topics is important in any education.

But I feel this exposure should be done under my roof, in my home, so that we can discuss them in the context of our religious and political beliefs (which to us, are deeply connected).

I want to end by this quote from a publication of my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"To have successful homes, values must be taught, and there must be rules, there must be standards, and there must be absolutes. Many societies give parents very little support in teaching and honoring moral values. A number of cultures are becoming essentially valueless, and many of the younger people in those societies are becoming moral cynics.

"As societies as a whole have decayed and lost their moral identity and so many homes are broken, the best hope is to turn greater attention and effort to the teaching of the next generation—our children. In order to do this, we must first reinforce the primary teachers of children. Chief among these are the parents and other family members, and the best environment should be in the home. Somehow, some way, we must try harder to make our homes stronger so that they will stand as sanctuaries against the unwholesome, pervasive moral dry rot around us. Harmony, happiness, peace, and love in the home can help give children the required inner strength to cope with life’s challenges. Barbara Bush, wife of [United States] President George Bush, a few months ago said to the graduates of Wellesley College:

"'But whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house' (Washington Post, 2 June 1990, 2). "

Quote taken from: https://www.lds.org/manual/marriage-and-family-relations-participants-study-guide/part-b-parents-responsibilities-to-strengthen-families/lesson-12-teaching-children-through-example-and-instruction?lang=eng

"Somehow, some way, we must try harder to make our homes stronger...."

I hear parents complain about the business of life. They feel they are always driving, always helping their kids with homework, instead of spending quantity & quality time together. Many parents are trying their best to provide a strong home for their children, teaching them morals and everything else.

But it's hard.

It's hard because about 50% of the time their kids are outside the home, learning under the direction of a government institution. And when they are home, they are doing more school work. School seems to be crowding out family time where building relationships and the teaching of personal values should be done.

I believe there is a way. It's not just to keep pushing harder, keep driving around, keep helping with homework, keep trying our best to do everything, fulfill all responsibilities even though our kids are not even with us half the time.

It's homeschool.

When kids are home, all of a sudden there is no rushing around in the morning trying to get off to school. Mornings are spent together, doing chores, eating breakfast, studying and discussing the scriptures. Then science experiments, art, and nature walks. Lunch and playtime. Come back and read aloud "Swiss Family Robinson," pointing out the family values and importance of faith in times of trial. Or spending the day at a historical site. But the point is, the family is together. Learning, building relationships, growing together in love.

No public school teacher or curriculum can give my children what I can.

And that is why I care who teaches my children.

Homeschooling Under 8 year olds

I just wrote this email to my sister, and thought it might be interesting to some of you. She is deciding what to do with her oldest daughter, who just turned 5, this fall.

Good to talk to you today! So, I just read this part of my book "Leadership Education: Phases of Learning" by Oliver and Rachel DeMille, and thought you might be interested.

But keep in mind that I'm not trying to convince you to homeschool, nor do I think it is the best option for everyone. As you learn about it, I'm sure you will feel promptings that either you should learn more, and you like what you are reading, or that it's not a good fit for your family. For me, the more I learn about it, the stronger I feel in my heart that it is right for us and I'm super passionate and excited about it. But if you don't feel that, then maybe your path is a different one, and that's ok too. Or maybe you're somewhere in the middle.

I really like how this book and philosophy is based on theories from psychologists that I studied in my master's program (Piaget, Erikson, etc), and that I actually agreed with and who's theories rang true to me (versus Freud, for example). It's not just one guy's view; there is a lot of science and evidence behind this, especially the fact that young kids learn best through play.  (Bold added)

"The lessons of the Core Phase (ages 0-8 yrs) are best learned through daily experiences in home life, uncomplicated by the secondary goals of pressured academic achievement. The best efforts of the parents will be in nurturing healthy relationship and modeling an active spiritual and scholarly life. Socializing outside family without the rest of the family should be limited and carefully considered. This is an ideal time for reading and discussion of good books, listening to and discussing good music, watching and discussing good media programs, playing at art or math and building with Legos or Erector sets and other similar activities.

"The tools for academic learning are present, as are the tools for cooking or making home repairs, and little children use them more in the context of tagging along or playing at the word of adults. There is no adult skill that children are obligated to master at this stage. The assumption is clearly conveyed that through frequent exposure (as in our reading to them or on our own) and later instruction (mostly be trial-and-error, with a loving mentor to answer questions and help avoid disasters) they will gain that facility as a matter of course.

"Lessons in self-discipline, perseverance and pursuit of excellence are modeled by the parents, and experienced by the young child in mostly physical ways. These might include: household chores, caring for animals and gardens, helping in a family business and cooperating in a daily routine. Little children start to internalize the virtues of excellence and perseverance as they do their part with family duties and in service to others. During Core Phase (0-8 yr olds), children are taught the fundamentals of the family's faith and how to arrive at and recognize truth. Most importantly, during Core Phase the child should be prepared to make choices, heed her conscience and know in her heart when she is being inspired." (Taken from "Leadership Education: Phases of Learning" by Oliver and Rachel DeMille)

One of my favorite homeschooling blogs (Simple Homeschool) did a great job summing this up:

http://simplehomeschool.net/core-phase/#more-31316

And this is also a really good one about what to focus on with under 8 year olds. This kind of stuff has recently changed the way I interact with my kids on a daily basis:

http://simplehomeschool.net/uninvolved-unschooler/#more-15334

To me, homeschooling under 8 especially is really relaxed- you just go about daily life with your kids, but with the perspective that they are learning through it all, so you would make sure to not gloss over the "teaching moments" when they present themselves (answering their questions, digging deeper into what interests them, etc), but relax knowing that through their play (with other kids as well as alone or with siblings) they are learning more than you could teach them from a curriculum or what they would learn in school (at this age). 

And besides play, reading! Reading aloud is one of the top ways to help children learn, and that is a really easy one to do at home, and even for free. Go to the library & read aloud frequently. Books are huge at our house. I put them in every room, we get 30-50 at the library every couple weeks, and make it really fun to snuggle up reading together, we read during breakfast, let them look at books alone, "read" to each other, etc.

To home school, you DO have to plan out your routines, chore responsibilities, and come up with a basic daily/weekly schedule, but that is where it gets fun, in my opinion. I get to create whatever kind of life I want for them! The sky is the limit. Let's make Monday our cleaning the house time (together, with music), Tuesday morning our "field trip"(to nature center, museum, aquarium, etc), Wednesday morning our playgroup/playdate, Thursday morning our Music or Art appreciation time, etc. And don't forget memorizing a monthly scripture every morning during breakfast with a scripture story, and listening to conference in Spanish while doing the dishes. :) I just made up this whole schedule doing all the fun things I love and so I'm excited about this right now!

I hope this doesn't sound like I have it all together and I'm the perfect mom- because I'm definitely not! These are just some things that we're doing lately that I'm excited about, but that's not to say every day runs perfectly. Most days don't, but I love having a plan so I don't have to think "What are we going to do next?" constantly. And I know that I'm consciously fitting in all the things I feel are important to expose my kids to (with lots of time to just play and read and build relationships!)

I love the idea that my children came to me for a reason, that I have special talents, skills, abilities, knowledge, that I need to share with them that is vital in helping them uncover their own purpose and mission in this life. Maybe there is a reason that I know Spanish- maybe my kids will need to know it at some point in their lives. What if I never taught it to them?

Henry B. Eyring shared an experience that his dad was so eager to teach him math and chemistry (his profession), but young Henry was never interested. Later as an adult, he was in a position where knowing math would have been extremely useful. He also shared that his father never taught him Spanish (even though he grew up in Mexico) but Henry B. Eyring ended up serving in Spanish speaking countries and regrets not ever asking his father to teach him. He said "It was no accident that I was born into a home with a Spanish-speaking father." (You can read the whole article here: https://www.lds.org/youth/article/real-life-education?lang=eng)

I feel that we, as parents (with the help of Heavenly Father), can do better than schools to prepare our children for the world and for their unique purpose on this earth, as we share ourselves with them, fit into our lives the things that are important to us and let our kids be exposed to them. Versus having some curriculum planning committee and government determine what constitutes an "education." (Have you seen "Building the Machine," the documentary about Common Core: http://www.commoncoremovie.com/?).

I know it's really hard to get out of that whole mentality (that there is one way to "get an education") because that's what we've been taught our whole lives, and we actually went through that system ourselves. But getting out of that idea is really liberating! 

To all of you, I highly recommend the book I quoted, "Leadership Education: Phases of Learning" by Oliver & Rachel DeMille (I am not compensated for recommending this book).

Hope this is helpful to some of you!

Common Concerns About Homeschooling

This past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Annual Home Education Convention of the Home Educators Association of Virginia.  I can't wait to share what I have learned, so the following posts will be directly from my notes of the convention. 

After the first several workshops I attended, on "Beginning Homeschooling," I came away with two main points:

1. Any (caring/loving/dedicated) parent teaching their children is WAY better than a public or even private school education. 

Why? 

Two words: individualized instruction. 

Study after study shows that homeschoolers are way ahead of their peers because they get one on one mentoring by a parent who loves them more than anything. 


2. Each and every presenter expressed their firm belief that: 
"You can homeschool too" because God gave you these children and if you ask for His help, He will make all things possible.

In fact, I was very impressed by the incredible faith in God that the Christian workshop presenters expressed, and which is so common among homeschoolers. That is what drives them. That is their rock and foundation in all that they do. They put the Lord first, and everything else falls into place.

But is homeschooling right for everyone? 

Of course not. 

However, when deciding to homeschool or not, you need to know which questions to ask yourself. (This is all mostly taken from the workshops by Yvonne Bunn of the HEAV).

The wrong questions:

Am I... 

Patient enough?

Smart enough?

Organized enough?

Educated enough?

Wealthy enough?

Creative enough?

Etc.

**God honors the direction we are going in. But we have to take the first step and be WILLING.

The right questions:

Are you willing...

To take responsibility for the education of your children?

To exhibit good character, manners, habits, etc?

To learn yourself?

To make education a priority in your day?

To sacrifice your time for your children?

To reevaluate your outside commitments?

To commit to a child's positive self-worth?

In summary: To put your child's interests above your own?

If yes, then as you learn and pray about homeschool, God will show you how to do it (through certain books that really hit home, friends, websites, and personal revelation to name a few).

When people hear that someone is homeschooling, a very common response is: 

"I could never do that with my own children."

 
The question is then, "Why not? Haven't you taught them up to this point? Don't you know more than a kindergartener?" Back in the day parents taught their children everything they knew- that was their education. Why can't we do the same? And these days we have access to way more information than they did. So not only can we teach our children all we know, we can give them access to information about anything that interests them, learning along with them (a bonus!). 

Here are some other common reactions to homeschooling:

"But I'm not a certified teacher- I don't KNOW ENOUGH to teach my kids all the 'subjects'." 

The answer to this is that there are TONS of resources and ways to learn, but for most of us, the public school way is all we know, so it's hard to think about education any other way. 

Not only is there an abundance of curriculum choices for homeschoolers, but there is the option to forgo curriculum altogether (or at least for the most part) and learn through...BOOKS! That's right, learn about history not from a textbook, but by reading an autobiography, and taking advantage of the many free resources online, in public libraries, and museums/historical sites. You have the freedom to teach your children about what you feel is important for them to know, not what the government deems is important. 

For those looking for scientific evidence: 

In comparing the average results of standardized achievement tests of those who were taught by a certified teacher, and those who were not, there was no difference. (I didn't write down the source on this, but I'm sure you could look it up.)
 

The more you read, and learn about homeschooling, the easier it becomes. TONS of other people do it and do it successfully. It's worth looking into how they make it work. You could start by checking out books on homeschooling from your local library.

"But public education is free; homeschooling isn't." 

Actually public education isn't free. It costs an average of $11,000 per year, per student (currently, in the state of Virginia). 

The homeschooling cost is about $500 per year, per student (or less, and many do it for MUCH less). 

There are tons of ways to keep the cost down for homeschooling families. We are in the Age of Information, surrounded by free resources are everywhere!

"But I have other kids (some very active & high energy ones)! How would I be able to manage my household, while overseeing the education of ALL of my children??"

Most of the presenters at the homeschool convention had 7 or more children (Susan Kemmerer has 7 boys and 2 girls). One family had 14 (Marilyn & Rick Boyer). Another were the parents of almost 50 foster kids over the years (Vicki Bentley), and homeschooled them all. All the while keeping the house in decent order, feeding, and clothing each and every one (Vicki's blog & workshop was about how to get kids to help around the house & being consistent & setting boundaries- I took all her advice seriously, since it was coming from someone who has raised 50 kids!). 

Impossible? These parents are not extraordinary. They are not Super Mom. They admitted to learning a lot by trial and error over the years (especially with their first children), but they all had one thing in common: their belief that God had given them children to teach and raise and they weren't going to give up that responsibility to the government. 

Besides their faith, they had figured out some tricks and tips on how to make it work in a large family. Learning from seasoned homeschooling parents makes the "how to" so much more manageable than how it looks in our limited imaginations. (More specifics on the "how to" soon!)

"Is it even legal?"

Yes! In every state. This was the primary way of educating children until the 1900s, when the rural communities began to struggle and moved into industrial cities for work. Public education was instituted as a way to educate the masses of children while their parents worked in the factories. Now we are in the Age of Information...yet most parents still send their kids off to be educated by the government!

Let's take a moment to remember the greats like Patrick Henry, Thomas Edison, Mark Twain, even Joseph Smith... All homeschooled!

"How will they get into college?"

Homeschoolers can get a high school diploma and apply and be accepted to colleges. like anyone else. But the difference is, they are actually preferred students, and can get special scholarships. Dartmouth stated that homeschoolers have a distinct advantage because they have been individually instructed (paraphrased). Standford stated that they have "intellectual vitality" compared to other students.

Some people are nervous to teach their kids at home, for fear of missing critical information that their kids will need to take the SAT or "get into college." This is the "teaching to the test" mentality that has ruined education across America. As our children learn, what's more important is not what they learn but that they develop a LOVE OF LEARNING that they will carry with them throughout their whole lives. So let's take the academic pressure off, and let them, at least when they are young, learn about what interests them. 

"What about socialization?" 
 

What does "socialization" even mean? 

According to Dictionary.com, socialization is:

"a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position."
 

Who do you want to socialize your children? Teachers with questionable values & liberal ideas? Lost & confused kids their age? Or you and your family, choosing carefully the other friends and social experiences? This is not trying to shield your child from "the world." This is helping them develop a solid foundation of  personal identity, values, good behavior, and social skills in the most formative years. Is that something you really want to leave up to 30 other kids their age and a random teacher?

In fact, studies are showing positive results of being "socialized" through homeschool. In areas of "Life Satisfaction," "Giving Back to the Community," and "Participation in Society," previously homeschooled adults are overwhelmingly more engaged in society and happy with their lives. (From a research study "Home Educated and Now Adults: Their Community and Civic Invlvement, Views about Homeschooling, and Other Trains, found at nheri.org, and quoted in HSLDA's updated booklet "The Best Kind of Socialization"). 

"What's so bad about public school? What if it's a 'great school'?"

Education is never neutral. Whoever is in charge of teaching is imposing their philosophies, ideas, and values on the students. Who do you want teaching your children about life and their role in it? The government? Or you the parent? 

So, what about the outcome of homeschooling? Is it a better or worse education than attending a public or private school? 

Standardized achievement tests:

National Average: 50th percentile

Homeschool Average: 84 percentile (in lang. arts, math, & history), 89 percentile (reading)

College entrance exams:

SAT:

National average: 1020

Homeschool average: 1092

ACT:

national average: 21.1

Homeschool average: 22.5

This really speaks for itself.

What's more...

25.5% of elementary age homeschooled kids are 1 or more grade levels above their peers.

By grade 8, the average homeschooler is 4 grade levels above the national average

And let's not forget that 40% of public school students DON'T GRADUATE!

For more studies about homeschoolers, here is a good starting point: http://www.hslda.org/research/

Why does homeschooling work? 

(The following are also based on research)

One-on-one instruction

No learning gaps

Developmentally ready for material

Individualized curriculum

Pursue personal interests

Develop good character 

I don't know about you, but after hearing all these statistics, my desire to homeschool (which was already high), just skyrocketed.

Everyone knows their own unique situation and circumstance. However, most people don't know the facts about homeschooling, and how it could work for their families, and especially why the public school option is becoming increasingly more like brainwashing and "dumbing down" our children (think Common Core) instead of giving them a truly high quality education. 

As more parents take things into their own hands, and learn more about this growing trend, I think we will see a difference in the rising generation, which gives me incredible hope for our nation's future.

God Bless America!


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If you have more concerns about homeschooling, I guarantee someone else has written about them. 
Check out this amazing collection of articles entitled "I can't homeschool because...." here: http://www.ihomeschoolnetwork.com/i-cant-homeschool-because-2/